Does Archetypal Theory Offer Hope for Men with Delayed Ejaculation?
One of the more interesting approaches to treatment for delayed ejaculation, or for that matter, any sexual dysfunction in men, is the use of an archetypal theory devised by Carl Jung and updated by Robert Moore and Douglas Gillette.
Essentially, an archetype is a pattern of behaviour, thoughts, and feelings, which is endemic to the human race, laid down as a kind of template in our brain. Obviously, these archetypal patterns can influence our behaviour and our way of being in the world. See this for more on that idea.
As far as sexuality is concerned, it seems that one of the most important archetypes for men would be both to the lover and the king in terms of the lover. It’s actually the lover’s job to make connection with a sexual partner. And if the lover is in any way frightened or fearful or anxious, then sexual performance in the man concerned can be drastically affected. Now, you might say, what is the Lover archetype and how can it be impacted by previous events in a man’s life so that he turns out to be doubtful or unsure of himself or suffer from some sexual dysfunction when making love?
Marie Louise Von Franz – A Man’s Anima Reveals Itself In Sexual Fantasies
Well, the answer to that is that the Lover archetype is a part of us which is sensitive to the tonality and quality of connection with another person. It enables us to connect with another person, both emotionally and sexually in a confident and happy way as men later in life, our inner lover archetype needs to have been treated with kindness, care, and compassion earlier in life.
You can see that if a man was brought up in an unloving environment, this might well play out later in his life as an underlying fear or anxiety, which makes him anxious during sexual intercourse, or indeed during any sexual encounter with another person.
As far as delayed ejaculation is concerned, many therapists believe that men who have this issue in their sex lives are anxious in some way about their relationship with the person with whom they’re making love; this anxiety inhibits their ejaculation. Without going into the whys and wherefores of this idea right now, we can simply acknowledge there’s plenty of information about the causes of delayed ejaculation on the internet (if you care to search it out).
The Lover Archetype and Delayed Ejaculation
One thing that we can say with confidence is that when a man suffers from delayed ejaculation, something is not working well in his Lover archetype. So one approach to dealing with the underlying issues that can cause delayed ejaculation is to investigate what has happened in terms of a man’s emotional wounding and damage to his Lover archetype earlier in his life – in his childhood, adolescence, and young adulthood, in fact. The best way to do this is through shadow work, although conventional therapy, when it’s done well, with a competent psychotherapist who’s skilled in Inner Child work, can be almost as effective.
Shadow work is a way of investigating the damage that’s been done to our archetypal development earlier in life and setting it right. By engaging in shadow work with a competent practitioner, the wounds that have impacted your sexual performance as an adult can be healed and possibly completely overcome.
Lover and King archetype are important here
But there is more to it than just working with the Lover archetype. For men, the King or Sovereign archetype is about power and presence in the world, about the capacity to know that one is “good enough” in all situations, and the ability to feel confident in sexual situations, at least in relation to overcoming some sexual dysfunction. Indeed, one of the most important archetypes in every man’s life is the King archetype. And so for any man who’s suffering from sexual dysfunction, looking at his King archetype and finding out how it may be strengthened, and built into the kind of strength and capacity that it would naturally have developed with a fulsome upbringing and respectful childhood environment, can be a very important step in curing the issues that are impacting sexual pleasure as an adult. One of the ways to build the King archetype is to read the book Warrior Magician Lover King, in which you will find all kinds of information about how to engage with the developmental processes that may have been inhibited or damaged during your earlier life and recover your full sense of masculinity.
And, as you recover your full sense of masculinity, you’ll certainly recover your full sexual capacity and ability to make love with confidence in a way that is satisfying both to you and your partner.